


Isn't ironic, don't you think?

by the_maraudersmap_of_fandoms



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky is just a lost puppy, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Not Beta Read, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Relationship, Stucky - Freeform, the avengers are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 19:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11470590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_maraudersmap_of_fandoms/pseuds/the_maraudersmap_of_fandoms
Summary: After the events in Captain America, Bucky and Steve have an hard time copping with the aftermath: one for killing people and the other because his friend is not as dead as he thought.





	Isn't ironic, don't you think?

**Author's Note:**

> Based in the request "16. Needing each other - Stucky" and the title is from the song "Ironic"by Alanis Morissette
> 
> This is my first English fanfiction ever posted and the first one here, enjoy!

The Hydra members have been making themselves discreet lately, not that Steve was complaining. On the contrary, he enjoyed being able to discover the modern world, but he couldn’t stop the feeling that something bad will soon happen. Stop, Steve! You got plan today, don’t ruin it by being paranoid… The tough woke up a bunch of butterflies in his belly, a strong and warm face making its way in his mind and then, he was torn apart between feeling extremely excited for the day and worrying of doing or saying something bad that could lead the other one to completely shut up to him. Once again, the voice in Steve’s mind told him to stop, nothing bad could ever happen, the two friends had known each other for so long that there was no way one ruin it with a single comment. Come on, let’s stay serious, Steve! Looking at the clock hanging above the bed, the veteran saw that he still had two hours to kill before his meeting with his old pal and yet, he had been ready and walking around for the last thirty minutes.

 

Finally, the man sit down on the sofa that he had put in front of the gigantic window which he liked to observe the city through. The sun was slowly rising in the perfectly blue sky, which was announcing a fresh and yet hot day. The perfect day to spend outside, walking on the street while making up for all the lost time between to friends. God, it felt strange using this word, as well as the pal one, not so much because of the decade apart that could have made more than one person consider a friendship as over. Actually, Steve has never like to introduce Bucky (when it happened, because Bucky had more often introduced him to others) as a friend, it just felt weird. As if the word was not strong enough, had not enough meaning to describe their friendship.

 

To be honest, Bucky has always been a part of his life, and a pretty important, and when they were young and strong men, they use to say they were more than friends, they were brothers. Well, Bucky said those thing; Steve wasn’t so okay with that, but what could he do? For him, Bucky was his world, he was the reason Steve Rogers wanted to be a soldier and transform the world, wanted to bring the peace. No friend and no brother could make you want to do all these things, but a lover could. Steve has no shame to say that he had seen homosexuality as something wrong, he was tough to think that way and he had felt wrong to feel all these things for Bucky… But now, he knew that he had nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, he love a man and yes, a very masculine man, but who care? He was Captain America, he fought for freedom: freedom of saying what you wanted to say, freedom to want what you wanted, freedom to show your feelings, freedom of being who you wanted to be… Thus, if he wanted to be with a man, he was free to do so. The only problem was Bucky, he certainly didn’t see Steve as a potential lover. And with that last negative though, it was time to go.

 

They both had agreed to meet at central park where they would take the subway to go to the zoo and when Steve arrived, he was able to see Bucky sitting, his body tensed as he kept looking all around him. He had a plastic back and when Steve stopped in front of the tall dark man, he could see what was inside.

 

“-See that you’re still so fond of those.”

 

All the tension in Bucky’s body disappeared and a toothy smile made it’s way on his strong and warm face.

 

“-What can I say: I’ve never taste anything better than that!” and he bited in a plum, a move that made Steve go back in time when the other one would always propose him a plum as they ran away from school.

 

They didn’t say anything more as they made their way to the subway, trying not to react to people watching them. Steve started to get used, but it was still a bit irritating to not be able to speak withing feeling like someone is listening. But, at least, people looked at him with some kind of admiration, worshiping. That’s was an all different story for Bucky, the looks were full of hatred, fear, accusation, disgust… It’s was hard to support, it made his body and his head full of guilt and self-hatred, as much as shame. Steve was not blind and he saw how insure and out of place Bucky felt so he started to talk. He talked about everything and nothing: “that’s a TV and a phone in the same time, Bucky! It’s unbelievable.” And to be honest, the blond was kind of glad to see that it brought as much confusion to his friend as it had brought to him. They should do this more often. As much as he like spending time with the others avengers, they couldn’t understand him as the man next to him could. They were born in this world or at least, had saw it being built, but Steve has woke up to discover a world totally different. Juts like Bucky has.

 

They slowly walked through the zoo, looking to the animals, making comments, enjoying the son still shinning and the calm. Yes, that was a great day, for both of them.

 

“-Well, that was fun. Do you… Do you have to go back to your place or… I mean, I thought we could have diner. Like we used to…

-Sound great, Buck! Let’s do that, there is a good place down the street.”

 

And just like that, they found themselves sat next to each other, waiting their food, while talking. It felt good, just like in the old time, but Steve knew that they were both trying to avoid something. As much as he hated the idea, they would have one day to speak about what happened. Bucky was the one who brought the subject on.

 

“-I’m tired, Steve. I’m… It’s hard to say, but it fells wrong to live. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m lucky that I survived to the fall, back then, and that no one kills me or arrests me for what happened with Hydra, but… I see the look people give me, I deserve it and there is nothing I can do to change that.

-You’re not responsible of this mess, Bucky.

-Maybe, but maybe I am. Anyway…” he said before Steve could retort. “This world, it’s not mines. I just don’t fit and never will. Let’s face it: I’m just a waste of time. And plus, I miss all the guys we grow up and fought aside with.

-I know how you fell, I’ve been through it, I’m still trying to get over it. I miss the guys too and I’ve missed you more than I could ever imagine before.”

 

The silence fell between the two veterans as they started eating. The food was good and the place quite comfy. They finished their plates before going on with they talking.

 

“-You know, neither do I fit to this world. People keep trying to make me discover everything, but it’s kind of annoying to see them being shocked by what I don’t know, what I’ve never done… They seem to forget I’m an old man. But today, I feel like I was normal, I didn’t feel ashamed because I was seeing things for the first time because you felt the same way. Looks like no matters the world or the time we will be in, we’ll always be there for each other and discover those thing together. It’s still just Steve and Bucky, two old pals.

-Well, things have changed buddy! Look at you: looking like a model, every American girls hoping you will notice them while I stay behind, being proud of you and being a shadow that hopes you will never notice those said girls because I want you all for myself. It’s funny, you know. Back then, you were the one who was lovesick for me, but nothing could happen and you know it. Looks like some stuff don’t change. This will never be more than what we have.”

 

Steve didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t even sure he had understand what the other was saying. He wanted to talk, wanted to tell Bucky his feeling, but what if he misunderstood what the other man has just said to him? Do it, Steve! Don’t think twice! And so did Steve.

 

“-It’s captain America they wish could notice them, not Steve Rogers who is the man you’re following and loving. And that’s the winter soldier they are scared of, not Bucky Barnes who’s the man I grow up with and who is the bravest man I’ve ever seen.”

 

Bucky could help but smile at those words, he hoped he understood what Steve meant.

 

“-Can I tell you something, Bucky?

-Go on…

-Steve Rogers needs James Barnes to be Captain America…

-James Barnes needs Steve Rogers no to be the winter soldier.”

 

Bucky’s hand fell between their two bodies, laying in an invitation to be hold, and Steve put his own on it, intertwining their fingers, then the two men were smiling, stars in their eyes. They’ve reached happiness and would fight to keep it this way. Because Steve Rogers needed James Barnes to be Captain America and James Barnes needed Steve Rogers not to be the winter soldier.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm looking for betas if it sound interesting for anyone...
> 
> Hope you had enjoyed!


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